Tai Sham.

If you're trying to decide where to go for a meal next weekend, make sure Tai Pan is not on your list of choices.  And, if it is, cross it off.  Twice.

I was fortunate enough tonight to go for a meal with some lovely people, two of which I haven't seen in a while, so a catch up was long overdue.  I had new shoes to wear, which of course put me in an excellent mood.  I was even picked up by my good friend Jack (thethoughtsthatcometolife), so the evening was off to a superb start.  Until we entered Tai Pan.

From the outside the restaurant looks promising; it has a nice sign.  Excuse the pun, but usually that's a 'good sign'.  The inside is smaller than I thought it would be, but pleasant enough.  The word organised comes to mind, which is a complement to how both the tables and buffet are set out.  Everything included in the buffet was clearly labelled which, as a pescetarian, was wonderful to see.  There's nothing worse than just sticking to things that are plainer than plain just because you're not sure what has meat in it and what hasn't.  All of the tables were set out nicely, with the typical paper pricing-place mats, finger bowl with a slice of lemon in it, menus and matching napkins on every table.  One thing that we did find strange was that the cutlery on each table consisted only of a fork and a spoon.  I wondered if this was a compromise between a knife and fork and chopsticks.

Jack and I arrived before everyone else, so went in to sit at our reserved table.  I soon learned that the reason we were dining so late (9pm) was because this was the only time the one round table in the restaurant would be available.  This had all been arranged before we arrived, however the gentleman who greeted us repeated over and over that he "didn't get the message" and that we'd have to sit elsewhere.  There was no apology, and he was actually quite rude.  Not the best first impression.  Jack and I were then asked multiple times about the people who would shortly be joining, which was fairly annoying because we had already stated that they were literally up the road.  Everything soon settled down when the others arrived and eventually we went to get our food.  Tai Pan has a fair range of food, with quite a few fish dishes as well as a large variety of meat.  If you're a vegetarian there isn't much, but personally I could eat egg fried rice all day long and not get sick of it.  I had the plain chow mien, egg fried rice, salt and pepper cod, calamari, vegetable spring rolls and sesame seed prawn toast.  All of this tasted pretty good to me, especially the cod.  The chow mien was a little on the cold side and the prawn toast was very thin and could probably have just been called sesame seed toast.  All in all though, I was pleased with the food.  The one thing I was disappointed about was that there was no teriyaki salmon, which I'd been looking forward to after seeing it on Tai Pan's menu online.  Typically, as this was a buffet I was full very quickly, but felt I needed to eat as much as possible as the buffet was £15.90.  Luckily we ordered after 21:15, which automatically entitles you to a 15% discount.  I think the wine was about £17 a bottle but I can't quite remember.  I had jelly for desert which I am always happy with, and an assortment of cakes.

While the food was nice, it wasn't amazing and I wasn't happy paying the amount I did for it.  I've had much nicer Chinese food at much cheaper places.  One particular place in Hayes Town provides impeccable service, which is Tai Pan's downfall and the reason I doubt I'll be returning.  As well as the mix up with the tables and the rude welcome, the staff at Tai Pan could not wait for us to leave.  They cleared plates, glasses and cutlery away as soon as they saw an opportunity to, which was annoying because I had to resort to stealing a spoon from another table - I probably did the next people a favour though, because the whole fork-spoon thing was pretty confusing anyway.  Then, before we had even got to desert, the staff started hanging around our table, sometimes four of them at a time, literally right next to/behind us, watching us eat.  There are mirrors on the walls of Tai Pan, so they couldn't even hover discretely.  They looked at us with such irritation and we were extremely cross that they were so eager for us to call it a night.  They even brought over the bill without us asking for it, to which we responded by getting more desert.  I have never felt so unwelcome or unwanted in a restaurant in my life.  There was not one smile and a severe lack of manners.  Customer service is most definitely not at the top of this establishment's priorities. 

They even started turning off the lights while we were finishing off desert!  Honestly though, how many restaurants close at 11pm on a Saturday night?  Even Pizza Hut is open until midnight.

Luckily for me, I went to Tai Pan with great people and we did have a nice meal and a good laugh.  Unfortunately, this was somewhat overshadowed by the shoddy service we received, and I would recommend getting your noodles elsewhere next time you fancy a meal out.

Why is it called Tai Pan anyway?  It looked like Chinese food to me.